Suffering from a disease that robs one of intellect and dignity, she had the option, as a Washington resident, to choose the time of her death. She used the provisions of Washington's "Death with Dignity" Act to hasten her death, while she was still able to converse with and understand her family members. (Oregon has long had a very similar "Death with Dignity" act, Vermont and Massachusetts are considering one).
Her family gathered on Friday and spent the day with her. She was much more alert and animated than of late and visited with each of us. Despite knowing that her death was the next day, we all slept well that night (I slept much better than for many weeks), showing us that we were prepared for her passing.
Social workers (she met privately with one from hospice and one from Swedish Hospital to affirm her decision) and the volunteer from Compassion and Choices Washington all remarked on her readiness (and that she had not been ready the previous week).
The volunteer from "Compassion and Choices Washington" showed immense skill and empathy in helping Meg and in caring for us.
Meg died peacefully and quickly, with no signs of discomfort. It was a remarkable end to a long struggle, and released Meg from what we all knew could be a long, distressing, undignified and inevitable end. Our preparations, the company of relatives, Meg's peaceful passing and the knowledge of her command of the situation all served to make her passing much easier for us all.
Thank you all for your advice and encouragement over these last almost two years.
Anyone interested in learning more about our Death with Dignity act could consult Compassion and Choices, could watch the documentary "How to die in Oregon" (HBO on demand through November 13th)
------------ Addendum 10/18/11 ------------
The recent proposed alliance between the Swedish and Providence Hospital systems has caused considerable concern regarding its possible impact on the availability of "Death with Dignity" help and information. Meg's hospital and medical care was all from Swedish, and her hospice care was from Providence. Both organizations provided truly first class care to Meg, each with a caring loving attitude that went well beyond the call of duty. Swedish's published policy allows their physicians the option of participating in "Death with Dignity" if they wish - both the MD's who aided us were from Swedish. Providence is reported to "not even allow staff to discuss or provide patients with information about" Death with Dignity. (Providence Hospice staff were extremely professional when I told them of Meg's plans.)
More information:
- Seattle Times article on the merger
- My letter to the editor of the Seattle Times
- Q13 news story including interview with me!
How like Meg to remain so strong and in control in the face of such adversity and how lucky she was to exit the world on her own terms.
ReplyDeleteTami
Andrew, I am so sorry to hear of this tragic blow. How brave of you in this time of sadness to use this as a teaching moment to help others.
ReplyDeleteYour neighbor,
Dennis
I am sorry for your loss but glad your wife could legally choose an end without more tragic suffering.
ReplyDeleteYour story makes the many months I spent and my friends spent working on the DWD campaign in WA seem even more worthwhile.
Thank you for sharing your story with the wider public who is reluctant in our culture to speak openly about death.
Wishing you great peace, and strength for the journey ahead without Meg. I hope we can one day meet. Take care.
===========================
My heart is so small
it's almost invisible.
How can You place
such big sorrows in it?
"Look," He answered,
"your eyes are even smaller,
yet they behold the world."
-Rumi
I am very sorry for your loss, although I am very happy your sweet wife could depart from this world with her dignity intact. My Mother and Grandmother were not so fortunate. I whole heartedly believe in freedom of choice. I am a resident of Mississippi and may never see my state be so forward thinking, but we can always hope.....
ReplyDeleteI plan to use your testimony in my upcoming speech, to a group of university students, about this subject. I will give full credit to you and dedicate it in memory of dear Meg.
Thanks for your inspiration...
Pat