Meg's last command obeyed

Our (outdoor scenes) desk diary was always central to Meg's very efficient running of our household.
Her last entry, for October 15th, was in her very clear (pre recurrence) hand and is a reminder to mail our property taxes, way before the October 31st deadline. I  am happy to report that I obeyed, a mere day or two later than the 15th.
I presume she added this reminder as soon as we got the calendar, late in 2010: most of the calendar records her struggle to control her handwriting, as the growing tumor increasingly impacted her ability to control her left side. By the end the writing was barely more legible than mine!

The Seattle Phil remembers Meg

The Seattle Philharmonic Orchestra, in which Meg had played clarinet for many years, remembered her at their October 23rd concert in Meany Hall by playing a piece by Aaron Copland.  When they played it again, at their concert in Renton on the 30th, I made the above amateur recording, and got their permission to post it here.

It's entitled "Variations on a Shaker Melody", and uses the Shaker tune "Simple Gifts" which features prominently in Copland's score for the ballet "Appalachian Spring". As their conductor, Adam Stern, mentioned, the melody was played at our wedding.

A larger (and possibly less jerky) version of the video is available here.

Slideshow link and November concert details

The slideshow from the October 23rd reception to remember Meg is now available online:

http://gallery.me.com/andrew_taylor#100262

(click the "slideshow" icon on the lower left of that page)

A reminder about the Clarinet Choir's concert & reception

On Sunday, November 20th, at 4PM, at Woodland Park United Methodist Church, 78th and Greenwood, the Northwest Clarinet Choir will perform its first concert of the season. Meg played with the group from its inception in 1990 until 2 days before her 2nd brain surgery. The concert is free, and will feature pieces that Meg has played with them, favorites of hers, and an arrangement of a piece which she nominated (when asked) for the concert. A reception hosted by the choir will follow, in the church social hall. From their announcement:

    Hello Northwest Clarinet Choir Fans,
    Please save the date of Sunday, November 20, 2011 at 4:00 p.m. for our next concert. We'll be dedicating this concert to Meg Holmes, one of our founding members who recently passed away after a 2-year battle with brain cancer. The choir will also be hosting an informal reception in her honor in the Fellowship Hall following the concert--everyone is invited.
    Hope to see you all there!

Remembering Meg: Concerts and Receptions

(link to blog homepage, to learn of Meg's journey.
 Donate to Brain Cancer Walk, if you wish)

Seattle Times Obituary 10/16/11

Both of the musical groups in which Meg played her clarinet will be remembering her. Do join us at their concerts, and at the receptions which will follow each of them.


On Sunday October 23rd, at 3PM in Meany Hall, the Seattle Philharmonic Orchestra will perform its first concert of the season.  As a tribute to Meg, the concert will include a brief excerpt from Aaron Copland's Appalachian Spring, which has special meaning for us, as explained in this excerpt from our wedding ceremony:

From our wedding text, Meg's handwriting

(I only recently discovered that Appalachian Spring depicts a wedding.) Tickets may be pre-ordered or purchased at the door.


That evening, Sunday October 23rd, Meg's friends and family will hold a reception to remember Meg. It will be from 6 to 8:30 PM at Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, 1100 Fairview Avenue North. Park in the employee lot north of Aloha Street (map) and enter the Thomas Building (D on the map). You provide dessert, we provide the rest of dinner. Music by a Klezmer Band.

(click map to enlarge)
 Enter "Employee Parking" from Aloha. Descend steps on north side of the lot. Enter building D at the blue triangle

On Sunday, November 20th, at 4PM, at Woodland Park United Methodist Church, 78th and Greenwood, the Northwest Clarinet Choir will perform its first concert of the season. Meg played with the group from its inception in 1990 until 2 days before her 2nd brain surgery. The concert is free, and will feature pieces that Meg has played with them, favorites of hers, and an arrangement of a piece which she nominated (when asked) for the concert. A reception hosted by the choir will follow, in the church social hall. From their announcement:

Hello Northwest Clarinet Choir Fans,
Please save the date of Sunday, November 20, 2011 at 4:00 p.m. for our next concert. We'll be dedicating this concert to Meg Holmes, one of our founding members who recently passed away after a 2-year battle with brain cancer. The choir will also be hosting an informal reception in her honor in the Fellowship Hall following the concert--everyone is invited.
Hope to see you all there!

Death with Dignity

My wife Meg died on the morning of Saturday October 1st in the loving company of her brother, sister, son, daughter and husband.

Suffering from a disease that robs one of intellect and dignity, she had the option, as a Washington resident, to choose the time of her death. She used the provisions of Washington's "Death with Dignity" Act to hasten her death, while she was still able to converse with and understand her family members. (Oregon has long had a very similar "Death with Dignity" act, Vermont and Massachusetts are considering one).

Her family gathered on Friday and spent the day with her. She was much more alert and animated than of late and visited with each of us. Despite knowing that her death was the next day, we all slept well that night (I slept much better than for many weeks), showing us that we were prepared for her passing.

Social workers (she met privately with one from hospice and one from Swedish Hospital to affirm her decision) and the volunteer from Compassion and Choices Washington all remarked on her readiness (and that she had not been ready the previous week).


The volunteer from "Compassion and Choices Washington" showed immense skill and empathy in helping Meg and in caring for us.
Meg died peacefully and quickly, with no signs of discomfort. It was a remarkable end to a long struggle, and released Meg from what we all knew could be a long, distressing, undignified and inevitable end. Our preparations, the company of relatives, Meg's peaceful passing and the knowledge of her command of the situation all served to make her passing much easier for us all.



Thank you all for your advice and encouragement over these last almost two years.


Anyone interested in learning more about our Death with Dignity act could consult Compassion and Choices, could watch the documentary  "How to die in Oregon" (HBO on demand through November 13th)  or could ask me.

------------ Addendum 10/18/11 ------------

The recent proposed alliance between the Swedish and Providence Hospital systems has caused considerable concern regarding its possible impact on the availability of "Death with Dignity" help and information. Meg's hospital and medical care was all from Swedish, and her hospice care was from Providence. Both organizations provided truly first class care to Meg, each with a caring loving attitude that went well beyond the call of duty. Swedish's published policy allows their physicians the option of participating in "Death with Dignity" if they wish - both the MD's who aided us were from Swedish. Providence is reported to "not even allow staff to discuss or provide patients with information about" Death with Dignity.  (Providence Hospice staff were extremely professional when I told them of Meg's plans.)

More information:

• Seattle Times article on the merger
• My letter to the editor of the Seattle Times
• Q13 news story including interview with me!

Meg Holmes, 1953 - 2011

Birthday, parents' house, 2009

Meg died peacefully late this morning, Saturday October 1st, 2011, in the loving company of her children, her brother, her sister and her husband.

An uneventful month

Family dinner,  Labor Day weekend

It's now 7 weeks since Meg started hospice care, and 5 weeks since I reported to you. Meg continues resting quietly and comfortably at home, being cared for by me and by her brother Gary, who lives with us during the week, and returns to his home in Olympia WA, about 60 miles away, at the weekend. A hospice aide bathes Meg 3 times a week, and a hospice nurse visits weekly to check in and to adjust medications, and is always available for phone consultations.


Meg now sleeps a great deal during the day, but is typically most active and happy in the mornings, during and after the hearty breakfast that she typically enjoys. She's unable to read or watch TV, and occasionally enjoys listening to classical music on her iPod: she requested quiet music, so it's mostly baroque music. It's clear that Meg's greatest joy, as shown by the way her face lights up, comes from quiet, attentive visitors. Several music colleagues have visited, in the mornings, and Meg has enjoyed their reports on Meg's community orchestra and clarinet choir, both of which are now reconvening after the Summer.


Our "children", Nick and Ely, visited over the Labor Day weekend, as did Meg's sister (Caryn), who stopped by with her partner Anton, on the way to the wilds of central British Columbia. Tony and Caryn will be returning today to report on their many adventures (hinted at in E-mails) and Nick and Ely will be joining us for the weekend as well.


Meg could not join us on the Brain Cancer Walk last weekend, so was represented by big photos held aloft (here are photos from the event). Your donations are still welcome and will be matched $ for $.
It's not too late to donate to Club Meg by clicking HERE, then clicking on "Donate to Support Us". 


And here are photos from the last month (and the previous set, which you maybe missed).

Meg requested the smell of fresh-baked bread this morning!